The Red Blog

Now I know this is a bit old, but hey, it’s not often you see a kung fu cow.

There’s an opening here for a cartoon or something…

This has been around for a bit, but worth another look:

Most of the humorous emails that get passed around places of work are about as funny as a kick in the nadgers, but a recent one was actually quite amusing. It claims to be from the Washington Post’s ‘Mensa Invitational’ (although I have my doubts as this doesn’t seem to exist) and involves changing, adding or taking away one letter of a word to create a new word and definition. (Some don’t strictly follow this rule either, but who cares – funny is funny).

Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly. (I don’t get this one, must be an American joke)

Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people, that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The Bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, that renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it.

Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

Karmageddon: It’s like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it’s like, a serious bummer.

Decafalon (n.): The gruelling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

Glibido: All talk and no action.

Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

Arachnoleptic Fit ( n.): The frantic dance performed just after you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web.

Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you’re eating.

Ignoranus: A person who’s both stupid and an asshole